Mother’s Guilt!

Posted by: on Mar 9, 2019 | No Comments

Keeping a large family fed, watered and clothed in these modern times can be a complex web of decisions for us mums. It feels like there isn’t a single choice that doesn’t mean either our kids miss out on something fun, or the planet suffers in some way. When half of all products contain palm oil, it seems bloody everything us wrapped in plastic and hardly anything is organic or fairly traded… every day can feel like guilt bingo. If we eat on the hoof because we made a spontaneous plan, it feels like a baby orangutan will die because there will probably be something will palm oil in it. Or it will be wrapped in plastic. Or sprayed in chemicals which some poor worker inhaled. Or involve some kind of animal product where the animal was raised in captivity of some kind.

When we buy clothes for a large family, how many of us can honestly afford fairly traded 100% organic cotton or wool clothes for every last item, guaranteeing it was made in the UK and didn’t involve anyone hunched over a machine for 16hrs a day?

Are we still good parents if we use cloth nappies and have the odd McDonalds? Or get an organic veg box every week but buy toothpaste with flouride? Does one undo the goodness of the other?

It feels like everywhere we turn there is a crappy consequence for how we live. Some days it can feel like the only righteous path to live is to go all Oliver Cromwell and ban all the fun, terrible things altogether. Pretend it’s the 1700′s and grow all our own food and make all our own clothes and turn our backs on 2019 and happy meals (not organic and probably made of turds) and ipads (someone’s village probably got destroyed as they mined for precious minerals to make it) and glitter (bad for sea animals) and flip flops (because they wash up on beaches) and not strictly necessary trips (because consuming fuel is crap for the planet eh).

And I just want to say that if you’re feeling utterly exhausted by it all and want to run away and live on an island somewhere…. it’s not all your fault. This shit is bigger than you. You can’t always win. At least once a day you will probably do something that fucked something up for your kid or the planet or your sanity. It’s impossible to be good at everthing all the time.

So please give yourself a pat on the back. We’re living in crazy times. Modern life is a bit rigged against us doing everything totally ethically, all the time.

Do the best you can today… and remember that doing some things better than you did yesterday is better than doing nothing…. make small changes if you can here and there…. but don’t walk around beating yourself up about not eating 100% wholesome food or living 100% plastic free…. or not eliminating 100% of palm oil from your diet….. or that you bought a Nestlé product by accident because you were tired and didn’t see the label til you got home…… or because your kid watched a lot of episodes of something they liked because you had no energy left over after a challenging day/week or even year…..

Do what you need to do to get through your day….

…. and bless the rest!